Bella Imperia: The things I don’t say

I should have known better than to let this happen.

There were signs—subtle at first, easy to dismiss. A lingering glance that lasted a second too long. The way silence between us never felt empty, only… heavy. Charged with something I refused to name.

I told myself it would pass.

Feelings like this are meant to be temporary, aren’t they? Fleeting distractions. Harmless thoughts. Something you outgrow before it has the chance to take root.

But this did not pass.

It grew.

Quietly. Patiently. Like something lurking beneath still water, waiting for the perfect moment to surface. And by the time I realized what it was, it had already wrapped itself around every part of me I thought I understood.

You.

You, in the way my thoughts betray me when I least expect it.
You, in the way my attention fractures whenever you’re near.
You, in the way I’ve begun to measure moments… by your absence.

It’s not gentle. It’s not kind.

This feeling claws. It lingers. It consumes in ways I cannot explain without sounding unrecognizable, even to myself.

I don’t think you understand what you’ve done.

Or maybe you do.

Maybe that’s the cruelest part of all—that you exist so effortlessly, while I am left here unraveling in silence, trying to contain something that refuses to be contained.

Because this—whatever this is—it doesn’t feel like the stories people tell. There is no softness here. No ease. No simple comfort to fall back on.

Only the constant pull. The quiet ache. The unbearable awareness of you.

And still… I wouldn’t stop it.

Not if I could.

Because somewhere within all this chaos, all this unrest, there is something undeniable. Something real enough to haunt me, to follow me, to remain long after you’ve gone.

So I will carry it.

Even if it ruins me a little.

Even if you never feel the same.

Just know this—

You are not a passing thought.

You are the kind that stays… and stays… and stays.

-Bella Imperia