Today is not a good day. My mind keeps returning to the things I buried deep, the memories I locked away in a small box at the back of my thoughts. I tucked them there carefully, convinced that if I hid them far enough, they could no longer reach me. But today the hinges groan, the lock splinters, and what was sealed away begins to seep through the cracks.
The thoughts escape like smoke, filling every corner of my mind, curling into my chest, poisoning the air around me. They move through me like a storm I did not invite, stirring wounds I am not ready to touch. I try to outrun them, to drown them out, to force the lid shut once more, but they rattle and claw from the inside.
I need a stronger lock. I need chains, a padlock, something heavy enough to keep the chaos contained until I can bear to face it. Because one day, I know I must. One day I will be strong enough to open that chest with steady hands, to sort through every shard and shadow, to name each pain for what it was and let it rest where it belongs.
But today is not that day. Today I am only asking for mercy. A little more time. A little more silence. A little more distance between me and the things that still know how to hurt me.
-Bella Imperia
Bella Imperia: The Things I Don't Say 
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