Today’s campaign began with triumph.

I, a responsible young adult doing responsible young adult things, acquired a new charcoal grill at an absolute steal. A beauty. A shining monument of steel and promise. Sleek. Powerful. Smelling faintly of future victories and lighter fluid.

Naturally, I did what any seasoned warrior would do. I went forth to purchase meat. The steak, dear reader, was never in question. Steak and I understand one another. We have an agreement forged through time, patience, seasoning, and heat. I can cook a steak like nobody’s business. A confident hand. A noble sear. A glorious finish.

But then… came the wings.

Chicken wings: humble in appearance, treacherous in execution. Now let it be known that I did not enter this battle unprepared. No. I researched. Extensively. Possibly too extensively. I studied temperatures. Analyzed charcoal readiness. I reviewed grill placement strategies. Direct heat. Indirect heat. Lid open. Lid closed. Rotate every so often. Whisper encouragement. (I am a nerd, dear reader. A prepared nerd, but a nerd nonetheless.) I was, in theory, ready.

Because who among us desires raw chicken? Not I. I fear many things, but salmonella ranks high upon the list. So I grilled. I monitored, adjusted. I stared into the flames as though answers might reveal themselves. And the chicken was cooked!

Very cooked…

There was no salmonella to be found. No pinkness. No danger. Those wings had crossed fully into the land of done. Some may even say… well done. Some crueler souls may say… crispy. Darkened. Slightly overcommitted to the process. But let us not mock the fallen. They gave their lives so that I may learn. Their sacrifice shall not be forgotten.

Alas, this day was not a total loss. For the steak was delicious. Tender. Juicy. Victorious. It stood tall amidst the ashes of its winged companions. So morale remains steady. Lessons were learned. Skills were sharpened. And I shall return to the grill again. Wiser. Stronger. Slightly humbled.

Until the next battle my dear readers.

-Bella Imperia

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